First Day, Part One

First Day, Part One
Whew - story for the day so that I can forever remember.

I didn't go to bed until 3 AM this morning. I had a large pile of clothes and oh my God what kind of bug is that on the wall in front of me?!?!?!?!?!?

Oops. Sorry - need to concentrate.

I had a large pile of clothes that I wanted to finish washing once and for all. I also resolved to iron after taking everything out of the dryer - and it cost me precious sleep.

I wake up @ 9:30 AM and take out another load from the dryer. Fold those clothes and eat a bowl of oatmeal. Oh wow - it is now 10:30. Supposed to start training @ Starbucks by 11 AM.

Hurry and shower, shave and get clothed. Leave at 10:55.

And, oh yeah, arrive a minute early. What a beautiful feeling.

Anyhow, manager needs a photocopy of my DL and SSN card, so I drive to Kroger. I stand in line for about 20 minutes, waiting for the lady in front of me to cash in her 6 Lotto tickets for an aggregate value of $25.

God Bless the Rednecks. (Their purchasing of Lotto tickets prevents me from paying state income tax).

Anyhow, when I get to the register, he tells me to just make the copies and then come back to pay. Woohoo - glad to stand in line for nothing.

I make 3 copies, and return to the line - which has now swelled to about 6 people. Ended up staying at Kroger for thirty minutes - and paid a penny a minute for those copies. Bah.

I got back and started training - me and another girl are training for the same position - Barista. When you go to Starbucks, this is the common person that you see making coffee, cleaning or using the register.

We spend hours reading manuals and signing forms. Apparantly a "mystery shopper" that worked for Starbucks came in while we were there and gave the first bad review the store had ever received. So the manager neglected us for about 2 hours.

When she finally came out, we talked about the position and how training would go.

Training is apparantly a 9 day ordeal - tomorrow I go in and begin learning aspects of the job. Wed I got to a training workshop in downtown Arlington. I then train with the manager or shift leaders until I know coffee like a bartender knows whiskey.

Anyhow, I learned a few interesting things about my job:

1 - The store I work in just had a mass cull of workers that were apparantly not very good. Because the store prides itself as being one of the top locations in North America, they brought in a good tough manager who should whip things into shape. I enjoy this because it gives me an opportunity to work for a goal and build a new team. That appeals to me for so many reasons that I won't go into.

2 - I never tipped at Starbucks until I decided to apply there. I thought it was absurd to tip someone for standing behind a counter and pouring water over beans. I still do. I do not ask or even encourage you to tip. I think its ridiculous. However, I will welcome all tips;-). The store i will be working at is apparantly a good store where a lot of people like to pay cash. I understand that along with my $7.00 base pay, these tips can amount to $2 or even $3 more per hour. That is great!!!

3 - The environment is greatness. I was worried that I would be in a "granola" atmosphere and be forced to work with people that simply do not care. That attitude is not acceptable. Not that it will be as business like as GB, just that we are expected to perform our duties. Good - maybe the buck won't be constantly passed to me.

4 - The girl I trained with is, erm, well....read the above entry.

Shedding of the Skin

I have been writing new blogs all week - usually while at work - and saving them all as drafts. While I would begin each entry with a purpose, they each ended up as a rant that I had to stop before I began to name names.

I have deleted each and every one of those drafts.

To post those entries would be parallel to sending an email to a coworker or loved one while in an uncommonly emotional state. Nothing good would come of it and, more importantly, they rarely make sense anyhow.

So I now sit at my computer at 3:08AM Saturday morning, starting my first day of liberation from Gallagher Bassett (former employer), not as a bitter employee, rather a more rational human being.

Each of my previous rants quickly digressed into a detailed description of the problems at that job, the industry, and the entire corporate culture. Hey, many of my points were valid! But they are also very self explanatory, and were drastically inflated by my disdain of being there any longer.

Look - in all honest, GB gave me so much of what I desire. I relished in the sense of importance I felt in doing a good job. I have no doubt that were I to stick to this industry, I could gain success. I grew up learning about insurance, enjoying the war stories that my Father told (and still tells) about the business. Everyday is a battle, and what member of the male race does not enjoy a good battle from time to time?

It was the battle that kept me in the business world for 3 years, starting from the age of 17. The battle is what made it one of the hardest (although necessary) decisions to throw away a potentially successful career for an education and new life, which might mean a step down from my possible earning ability in the next 20 years. I could have risen from the ranks of a lowly private to a figurative field general in insurance. Hell, even as I write these words, my mind tells me that I should go back, that GB is where I belong!

But more than anything, my overly logical mind urges me to return for one reason - Gallagher is a great security blanket for my future, an almost fullproof guarantee that I could live in relative comfort and happiness.

Don't be mistaken - I understand that there are absolutely no guarantees in life (save the one from the Christ), but Gallagher offers the closest thing I have ever seen.

But what kind of battle is one which you know you will win?

What adventure is there in a place where I know that with only about 50% effort, I could jump up the ranks and gain a place among the highest paid individuals in a high paying industry? To what greater cause or purpose would I be contributing were I to return and evolve a career by managing worker's compensation claims, or managing those who manage said claims?

None whatsoever.

My role was a superficial, imagined reality. Sure, there was a fight everyday, something to resolve, a fire to put out. And in one year at the company I had already created a name for myself - my coworkers depended on me to help them with their responsibility, my immediate supervisors needed me to complete their essential duties. Moreover, as I understand it, my name was even beginning to circulate in home office among some of the vice presidents.

For God's sake, I had a broker in New York call me up when I told him that I was leaving because he wanted to hire me!!! He settled by giving me his cell phone and telling me to call when I left school.

I accomplished nothing!! I do love the battle, the feeling of importance and dependency. But my soul has been striving for something more.

The one lacking aspect that I yearned - what did I have to fight for? This is a consumer's world, and I was in a consumer's industry. I was not giving anything back to help the common man, help the earth, or even show God how much I love him! Nothing I did was productive - I simply ran duties and got paid.

Tonna, my old boss and Father's girlfriend, has told me (in response to my habit of sleeping in), that I " am more than capable of waking up on time when I feel like it and want to. It's the regular days that you sleep in."

So what?!?!? Shouldn't we all strive to have something that we wake up for? Shouldn't we go to sleep every single night with the knowledge that something truly outstanding and good will be waiting for us in the morning? I don't know if everyone needs such excitement, just that I do. I will not be satisfied with what I do unless I know that in some way it is useful.

I don't know yet what my cause will be, where God wants me to make a difference for someone or something. I only know that he does.

And I will look forward to that moment from here on out.