The New York Review of Books

I love my Humanities class. My professor is a delightful old man. He is in his mid-eighties, however he is energetic and passionate about the course. I believe that I have learned much from him.

At the beginning of the semester, I recognized that this was quite a unique professor, and decided to confront him about my issues about career planning. I told him that I was nothing more than a hopeless thinker, and I wanted to somehow incorporate this activitiy into my life after college.

He suggested a few things, notably, the New York Review of Books. It is a periodical that he subscribes to that publishes essay in 20 issues per year. I originally wrote it off, however, it seems that he didn't.

Today he gave me his latest issue - he apparantly saves them - and told me to read through it. I did while drinking a cup of coffee at Starbucks. It is brilliant.

The journal is simply magnificient. It is full of current ideas and reviews. Although not all of the issues are important to me, the fact that there are forums for thinkers is a novel idea that I never believed could exist.

It has been a truly inspired day. Thank the Lord!

The First Essay

Quick note - a few subtle happenings, both in my recent readings and interactions with other people, have inspired an idea. I will be writing my first essay that isn't for a class or some other requirement. I am writing it for myself. I am unsure if I will post it here or, dare I say, actually try to have it published somewhere (my ambitions might be a bit steep).

It is involving a social system that would to most people, I belive, seem obvious. For me, though, it is a revellation. It involves a system of togetherness, organization and the environments we create for ourselved.

I have as of late been delving into my own apparent social deficiencies. I have been trying to find and break those mental blocks that have always prevented me from flourishing in a communal setting. This, I believe will be a huge step.

Although I do not believe it will be profound for others, I am hoping that it will in some way be beneficial as a quick amateur social insight.

A Strange Sale

So a couple of days ago, I drive up and see a young woman going door to door(no doubt selling or hustling). She sees me - EEK! I have been spotted by the hunter. I can either stop with my tail in the air like a deer in headlights, or make a run for it.

I choose that latter, as any good card carrying coward would!

I go change, and notice that although it is 83 degrees in the house, Dear Old Dad has decided to leave the AC off. I remedy this obvious memory lapse the Old Guy had. I have changed into some khaki shorts and a sleeveless workout tee (basically I scrubbed out), having forgotten about the Villainous Predator that lurks outside.

So I check out my fav pasttime - Dallas Cowboys.com - when I hear the door knock.

Curses! I have been snared! She knows that I am here - I cannot in good form simply ignore her.

I answer the door - and regardless of the fact that she is quite obviously a tree hugging sign carrying liberal communist throw-red-paint-on-rich-people-wearing-animal-skins girl, she is, well, kinda cute!

And I do what any guy would do - put on a dumb smile and allow her to proceed in her hustle.

We talk - she wants me to donate 36 dollars to a cause that will stop a landfill from extending its territory without warning the public. I relinquish the cash because she is nice looking, interesting to talk to and has definitely struck me by the fact that she is willing to go door to door and gettng laughed at because she believes in a cause.

I know what you are thinking - why are we talking about this? Trust me, my dear loving reader, I am getting there.

I ask her to come on in while I write a check. She asks me what I do (a question that I am becoming increasingly tired of in American society). I tell her student at UTA.

And she says the words I have heard in my head ever since...

"Oh - business student?"

What?!?!?! Business student? Do I reek of corporate stench? Have I grown so used to being in the business world in 3 short years that my demeanor and overall appearance strictly screams that I am a busness student?

I think she was genuinely shocked to learn that I wanted to study philosophy or some other Liberal Art. She told me that she had considered going to UTA to study Human Anthropology and asked my opinion of UTA. I told her the truth - it is nothing more than a commuter school. You are capable of learning at the institution, but you have to find a niche.

We also got into a discussion about an essay that I am writing. It seemed to intrigue her, yet I was still annoyed that I had been pinned down so easily.

You may read this blog and think that I judged her based on her appearance, but I was authentically interested in what she had to say - it was semiintriguing. But I am quite disturbed that she was so quick to judge me as an obvious right wing card carrying corporate business stiff learning to navigate through the Wall Street jungle. I feel that I captured her attention when I mentioned philosophy - perhaps she has never heard the words expounded from the parted lips of a guy who also happend to cleanly part his hair in a business style.

Oh well - hopefully I made an influence on her. Maybe she learned not to judge what a person may be simply because they have some of the mannerisms that fall into the corporate stereo type.

Or maybe I am not so influential.

Welcome to my First Post!!

So I decided that the whole written journal idea didn't work. Pity - I was hoping that it would allow me to organize my thoughts and review them whenever I felt necessary. I discovered, however, that I type much faster than I handwrite.

I got this idea today after reading the blog of my friend Josh. He actually has two of these that he updates from time to time. Hopefully, this will be a more successful version of my journal.

Please do not let the title fool you into thinking I have become some morbid poet. The title "Flickering Lights on Cave Walls" and caveshadows.blogspot.com come frome a philosophical principal created by Plato. I will spare you the details of this principal (for now); however I will let you know that it has to do with an idea that a Human cannot possibly understand completely the world around him. He is forever "bound" to only see flickering glimpses of reality and thought (the cave wall), which he perceives as the "true" universe, the so called "way of things."

However, if he could somehow unravel the ties that bind him - such as his environment, social pressure, or simply the limits of his own psyche, then perhaps our curious observer could turn around and discover the true source of these flickering shadows - the fire that burns behind him.

That is basically what I hope this tool will do - allow me to sift through the thoughts that lay within my own mind, and derive their meaning; or, at the very least, express them somehow before they grow stagnant.

I will post a few blogs tonight, and will hopefully keep up with this tool. If you are compelled to respond to me, please contact me at grandallgray@sbcglobal.net or AIM me at shelbygray01.

Thoughtfully,

S.R. Gray